Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act upheld

New Haven, Conn., April 18, 2007 — “Today's Supreme Court decision in Gonzales v. Carhart is a major milestone in the battle to end the destruction of innocent human life in America,” Supreme Knight Carl A. Anderson said today. “Until today, the abortion license in the United States has been virtually unlimited. Finally, after nearly a decade of court battles, the way has been cleared to implement the bipartisan judgment of Congress that partial birth abortion is brutal and inhumane, and must be prohibited.”

“In upholding the Partial Birth Abortion Ban Act,” Anderson said, “the court reasserts an important and usually forgotten part of its 1992 decision in Planned Parenthood v. Casey. ‘A central premise’ of that case, the court said today, is ‘that the government has a legitimate, substantial interest in preserving and promoting fetal life.’ In highlighting that position, I believe the court has laid the groundwork for a more searching reexamination of the crumbling foundation on which Roe v. Wade was built.”

“We also strongly agree with Justice Thomas, who wrote a short, separate concurring opinion reiterating his view ‘that the Court's abortion jurisprudence, including Casey and Roe v. Wade, has no basis in the Constitution.’ He is absolutely right, and we will not rest until the day on which the right to life is recognized as the most fundamental right of all,” Anderson concluded.

Special occasion observed today

April 1, 2007 — An all-women Knights of Columbus council, the first of its kind, was instituted today in Laramie, Wyo. The formerly all-male fraternal organization is opening its doors to women on a trial basis, according to a spurious source.

“We’ll start with this one and see how it goes,” said Carol Anderson, a spokesperson at the supreme council office in New Haven, Conn. “We plan to institute a second all-female council on this same date next year, and then one more each year on that anniversary,” she added.

“I’m no fool, but I don’t understand why we can only do this once a year on one specific day,” complained April Fülsdeigh, grand knight of the new council. “It’s my birthday, though, so that’s good,” she added.

The international lay Catholic organization is working to revise its traditional principles of Charity, Unity, Fraternity, and Patriotism, according to one official who wished to remain anonymous. “We were going to replace ‘fraternity’ with ‘fellowship,’” said the unidentified source. “But then someone pointed out that it’s got the word ‘fellow’ in it.”

A parchment charter listing the names of the new members was delivered at an installation of officers ceremony conducted by State Deputy Bill Briere, the leader of the Knights of Columbus in Wyoming. According to the document, the new council has been dubbed “Kalendae Aprilis Council 040107.”

No additional details were available at press time, and word of the unexpected policy change had not yet reached many of the organization’s district and local leaders. Not everyone was taken by surprise, however. Rumors about possible changes in the Order’s admission policies had begun circulating last year, around the first of April, according to the state deputy, although he acknowledged that some of the rumors had turned out to be false.

In his remarks to the new members and their husbands, Briere said, “We must always be wary of misinformation, especially on a day like today. I am sure that we will all be extra vigilant on this date next year.”

— Editor